


Breakeven

by PrincessTrixieTRP



Category: The Ren & Stimpy Show
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Drama, M/M, Psychological Drama, headcanons, ren and stimpy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-21 10:11:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2464469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessTrixieTRP/pseuds/PrincessTrixieTRP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I try to cry out but no sound was made. Looking up, I see the interior of the house was changed to my childhood home. Whether it was a fucking memory or not I don't know, but it was terrifying me to no end. I strain to hear mom and dad arguing about how I should torture things. Mom suggests a chainsaw while dad suggests a gun. The voices get louder, making my ears hurt until I'm suddenly grabbed by my father by the wrist. He drags me out to the yard and puts our cat next to the finishing tree. He shoves a gun in my hand and starts yelling at me to pull the trigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thunder

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

____________________________

It was half past 8 pm. The sound of rain from outside made me sigh in comfort. The thunder was a good addition, as well. God damn, I love the weather. Especially storms. Unlike my stupid idiot friend, who absolutely despises them. Fuckin' baby.

I was sitting on the couch, looking out the window. Nothing really out of the ordinary; smoking, watching the rain, nice and quiet night. Especially since my stupid friend wasn't home.

Stimpy usually works around this time at night. He comes home around 11 pm. He always comes home in a daze. I really don't know what he does to help pay the bills around here. It gets so damn annoying. All I want is to not pay the bills around here and have Stimpy help out, ya know?

I sigh and put out my cigarette.

"It's so boring…"

I look around casually. The living room is pure emptiness.

I lay back on the couch, my hands resting on my stomach, staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder when dumbass will be home today… You know he never seems happy anymore. Well," I sit up and stare at the window, as if someone was listening to me. "I mean… he's happy, but… not quite "there"…if you see what I'm saying. It's almost like he's trying to tell me something." I look away then my ears perk up. "What am I even talking about?" I lay back down, hands behind my head, sighing without a care in the world. "He's not hiding anything."

After a few hours, I hear the door start to open. At this time, I'm almost asleep, but manage to open my eyes.

"Stupid rain!" Stimpy says as he closes the door behind himself.  
I sit up and rub my eyes, stopping slightly to stare at him.

Stimpy looked like a dripping wet hot mess. His dark red hair completely rustled his red shirt with white sleeves, soaked. His glistening blue eyes were staring down at his deep blue jeans.

"Ohhh…!" He whines as he dusts himself off, knowing it won't do anything, but still attempting. "I'm all soaked!"

I stare at him. Man oh man… Stimpy was looking… pretty good for today. I don't know why but for some reason, he looked…amazing. He's a hot mess. I mean, messy hair, wet clothes… Something about him just drove me crazy.

"W-Well…." He looks over at me "What did you do today, Ren?"

I get up and walk over to him, unsure of whether to smack him for getting the carpet wet, or grab him by his shoulders and just make out with him there.

"uhh nothing…" I shake my head to get my thoughts gathered. "Why are you just standing there, huh? Get in the fucking shower before you leave a puddle on the damn floor."

Stimpy nodded and smiled, "Oh! Of course!" He runs upstairs and straight into the bathroom.

I sigh and follow him. Making sure I stayed out of sight though. I smirk and sneak up behind the door, peering through the keyhole. I licked my lips at what I saw.

Stimpy was stripping every inch of wet clothing, his jeans first, then his shirt. He ruffled up his hair some more and smiled as he turned to look in the mirror. He giggles and makes some faces.

I groan softly at his stupidity and keep watching.

Stimpy, now pulling down his boxers, is smiling and humming slightly. "Oops! I forgot my soap I bought…" He slips his boxers back on, and opens the door but stops as he sees me on the floor with my tongue out.

I slowly look up at him and blink twice. I wonder what I looked like; probably a stupid teenager back in High school peeping in the girl's locker room. Christ…have I stooped that fucking low?

I spring to my knees and glare at him, clenching my hands into fists. "W-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! AREN'T YOU TAKING A FUCKING SHOWER? AND WHY ARE YOU HALF NAKED?"

Stimpy stared at me, confused and dimwitted. "I bought some new soap, but I forgot to bring it in the bath with me…" He smiled at me, oblivious to the fact that I was peeping on him. "But don't worry, that's all I'm getting!" He walks past me and grabs his little bar of…fancy-ass pink soap.

I growl in annoyance and pinch his arm. He yelped and turned to face me. "Now stay in there and don't come out till you're finished!" I growl.

Stimpy nodded and proceeded into the bathroom.

God, he's such a moron. Why do I even bother keeping him here? Because I can't do anything by myself. I froze up at the mere thought. I can do shit on my own! I only need Stimpy here so he can buy me smokes and drinks and shit! What else would I need him around for?

I sigh and lay down on my side of the bed, turned away from the bathroom door. The soft silky navy blue pattern on the sheets was simply too inviting. I sink into the sheets and nudge into my pillow.

"Fuck." I sigh heavily and bite the comforter.

-That night…-

Something kept nudging me.

"Ren?" A soft, scared little voice spoke. "Renny?" The voice became clearer, "I'm scared, Ren…"

I groaned, wanting to just punch him until he passed out from the blunt trauma. "What. Do. You. WANT?" I glare over at him.

Those soft blue eyes stared at me. I could see that he's been crying for a while now. Immediately, my glare softened and I got a little worried.

I sat up and turned over to face him. "Hey hey, what's the matter, buddy?"

Stimpy lunged at me, hugging me tightly and started to cry into my chest. "I'm scared, Ren! I-I-I had a nightmare that you didn't care about me anymore and-and-and tossed me away!" He cried and tightly hugged me.

My ears went back, not from the lack of oxygen, but from what I was hearing. Of course I'd never do that, but…what would give him that kind of dream? Oh god, what the hell am I even thinking?! This is Stimpy for god's sake! He always has strange ass dreams to associate for his strange ass behavior!

"A-Alright Stimpy, c-can I at least breathe?" I gasp out. He releases me and I try to catch my breath. "Ok….what would've given you that kind of dream? I mean, it's not like you're out of place here or anything, right?"

Stimpy looked down, wiping tears from his eyes. He didn't respond to the question. I start to get worried, for real this time. My ears drooped at the silence.

"Stimpy…? Right?" I nudge him into agreeing with me.

He finally looks at me, as if he is forced to answer. "Y-yeah…I don't feel out of place, Ren…" He smiles. "It was just a silly dream! I'm sure it won't ever happen!"

"Y-Yeah! Now get back to sleep." I said hurriedly, wanting to not speak about it anymore. I turn away and pull the covers up close to my chest and close my eyes.

I feel Stimpy turn away from me and I hear a small sniffle as the room gets silent. A soft rumble of thunder rolls as a flash of lightning illuminate the room for half a second. I sigh and close my eyes, drifting off to sleep for the night.


	2. Concern

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

** abuse mention **  
____________________________

I always hated mornings. Everything about them. The stupid birds, the sunlight, and even worse was the cheerful and obnoxiously annoying tone of Stimpy's voice. Every morning was the same routine. I'm not complaining though, it was better than waking up at home with my dad away at work and mom smoking while she cooked breakfast when I was younger. Like mother like son I guess.

Tiredly, I sit up in bed and ruffle up my bed hair. I looked around to see the soft velvet curtains illuminate with calm sunlight, though… something felt off. I didn't feel… well… warmth next to me. Just an empty space with Stimpy's side of the bed neatly made.

"Ah hell… what now..." I groan as I stand up and lazily toss the comforter sloppily on my side. "Where the hell is he? He usually tells me if he's going somewhere." Quickly, I shrug off my concern and head off downstairs.

As I headed down the stairs, I heard Stimpy talking. I'm glad the piece of shit didn't leave me at home alone, but what the fuck was he even doing? Who was he talking to? I try to mind my own business and head into the kitchen. There was no breakfast but coffee was made, to which I got a cup of. At this point, I don't even think he heard me coming downstairs or notice that I was even awake.

I eavesdrop on Stimpy's conversation while I pretend I'm stirring in something.

"Yes… I know mom, but-… " he sighs softly "Mom, please can't I just… well why not?"

I glance over as I stand in the kitchen taking sips of my coffee. I turn and watch him. He looks like he hasn't gotten much sleep and his hair is a mess, which… was odd.

"Please just let me come home!"

My ears perk up at the sudden question. Filled with anger and… well.. another feeling that I hadn't felt before, I rush over to him and take the phone and quickly hit the end button.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" I scream at him.

Stimpy's ears went down as if he knew he was in trouble. He looked at me like he was completely unaware of my presence.

I smack him hard across the face, leaving a red handprint on his cheek.

"DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO GO BACK HOME!" I glare daggers at him. "YOU'VE TOLD ME SO MANY TIMES THAT YOU HATED LIVING AT HOME BECAUSE OF HOW ABUSIVE YOUR MOM WAS! I SAVED YOUR SORRY ASS BY LETTING YOU LIVE HERE!" I threw my hot coffee in his face, which made him flinch and hide his face in his hands.

Stimpy whimpered and tried to wipe as much of the coffee off as possible. "I-I'm sorry Ren I—

"SAVE IT!" I interrupt him.

Stimpy looked at me. His face covered in dripping hot coffee with some tears mixed in and a bruise on his face. My sub-conscious was screaming at me to stop once I saw the tears, but I ignored it. I slammed the mug down on the coffee table and grabbed his arms roughly, nearly digging my claws into him.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO GO HOME SO BADLY?!" I yell at him with complete anger in my eyes.

"I don't…" he responded quietly.

"BULLSHIT!"

Stimpy winces in pain as my grip gets stronger.

"YOU WERE BEGGING YOUR MOM TO LET YOU GO HOME! WHY?"

Stimpy stares at me with a sad expression as well as fear. He hugs me tightly suddenly, and starts crying into my chest.

Confused, I let go of his arms and stare at him as he cries.

"I'm sorry, Ren…! I-I really am..!"

See? Now look at what you did. You fuck up everything.

I swallow my pride and get on my knees in front of him so we're at eye-to-eye. I mean, really. What did I have to lose other than my own sanity.

"I just wanted to visit my mom… I miss her.."

I rub my eyes and sigh heavily from Stimpy's idiocy.

"Stimpy… your mom is a piece of shit. I mean, granted you're too stupid to even see that, and even your mom can't stand your sorry ass, but you should at least know that she never really cared about you."

"That's not true!" He spoke out. "Momma loved me!"

I glare at him, already fed up with this charade.

"Oh she loved you, eh?" I cross my arms.

Stimpy nods.

"Alright, then why did she leave you at home all alone so many times?"

"Because when father left, she had to work and I could take care of myself!"

I run my fingers through my hair and sigh exasperatedly, "There's no way you actually believe that…"

Stimpy nods and gets an angry expression as he stares at me, which.. I haven't seen in a long while.

"Momma told me that when I was younger, Ren!"

"You were 12 years old, Stimpy…"

"Momma knew what she was doing! She told me so—

"SHE ONLY TOLD YOU THAT BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR SORRY ASS!" I snap at him.

Stimpy instantly got quiet and stared at me. His defensive glare had softened into a depressingly glazed look.

"She even told me that dealing with you was a waste of her time! And damn, she's fuckin' right!" I belittle him as I stand up. "I mean, look at you! You're on the phone begging her to come home when years ago you begged to live with me! You told me you felt like you didn't belong at home, now all of a sudden you wanna go back to that... bitch?! That ain't happening! I can barely stand not seeing you in bed, how the fuck do you think I'd feel if you went to live back at home?!"

Stimpy's eyes were wide and he stared at me.

I stop myself and my anger suddenly vanishes. Did I really just say that…? I stare at him with his stupid shocked look. Nervously, I sigh heavily and grab the car keys.

"R-Ren.. I…"

"I'm going out. Be back whenever." I slam the door as I walk out.


	3. Hungover

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

____________________________

I sigh heavily as I place another empty beer bottle on the table.

"That makes 3…" I slur as I look at the table that's littered with empty bottles.

Running my fingers through my hair, I straighten up while the room spins around me. I shake my head and order another 3 drinks. As they arrive at the table, I grab one and start drinking.

I can't believe I said that. What made me say that? God, I'm a fucking idiot.

I quickly drink down the last of my drink and lay my head down on the table.

"I'm a fuckin' disgrace…" I mutter tiredly as the alcohol starts to hit my system. I pick up another bottle and unscrew the cap. Looking up, I take a sip and look around.

The bar is normally quiet during the evening with the exception of some people that just need a break. I'm never one to talk… since when have I ever needed a break? The bartender stands at the bar and wipes down glasses, listening to some men complain and whine about their lives. Pfft… buncha babies if you ask me.

I grab the last drink I have and prepare to order another round. While drinking, my phone vibrates. Annoyed, I take it out of my pocket and see a text from Stimpy that reads, "Where are you?"

I sloppily text back, "y do es it mate r?" then stuff my phone back in my pocket.

After a couple rounds of the same drink, I could barely stand. My mind was clear but cloudy and the world looked like a blur. Good. I'm better off not seeing stupid shitheads around me anyway. I shakily and uneasily get up and walk out the door.

While walking, I feel a soft hand on mine. Blinking a few times and squinting to clear my vision, I see Stimpy there in front of me. I try to push him off.

"G-get offa' me… w-wait.. h-how the fuck did ya even get 'ere?"

"I've picked you up here many times, Ren… usually you can't drive so.. I'll be your driver."

"F-fuck off! I-I don't need ya!" I hiss at him as I harshly push him away. "I can drive juuuust fine." I get the car keys out of my pocket, but they fall to the ground

Stimpy picks them up for me and takes my hand.

"C'mon, sweetie."

I smack his arm and push him off.

"God damn it, you s-shitface I said I'M FINE! And don't call me that stupid fuckin' name in public!"

Stimpy sighs and picks me up in that idiotic bridal style.

"You'll sober up soon, Renny."

Next thing I know, I'm put into the backseat of the car and I feel the car pull out of the parking lot. The soft hum of the engine sounded so nice… the gentle movements of the car were making me tired. I closed my eyes and sighed softly.

 

"It's ok Ren… I don't blame you or momma… no one can really put up with me." He sighs, "but… I'm glad you can put up with me.~"

I hear Stimpy's soft talking as I wake up. Opening my eyes, I see him stroking my hair and smiling. I try my best to sit up, but am immediately stopped by Stimpy who gently lays me back down.

"Ah ah, Renny.~ You need to rest~."

I glare at him tiredly and look around. My head was throbbing and everything around me seemed blurry. I looked at the clock to see it was 5 in the afternoon.

"Ya know," Stimpy starts, "I never really thank you enough for everything you do for me, Ren."

You don't even need to, Stimpy…

"I mean… I know I'm hard to deal with because I'm.. not all that smart like you,"

Please stop…

"but I do what I can and… I hope in time you'll be happy with that~"

I sit up against his hand that fought against my actions.

"Stimpy, stop." I softly glare at him.

Stimpy relaxes and looks at me.

"Look I… I don't give a fuck if you live here or not just… damn it, you should be smarter than to know not to go back to your piece of shit mom!" I raise my voice slightly.

I remember what I had said to him before I left.

I can barely stand not seeing you in bed, how the fuck do you think I'd feel if you went to live back at home?!

"Ah fuck…" I mutter and rub the back of my neck.

"Ren… I didn't know you cared that mu—

"I don't care, god damn it!" I glare at him.

I turn away as guilt and confusion rises in my stomach, making me pull the covers over my face.

"Just go do what you want, forget I said anything."

Stimpy rubbed my back and kissed my cheek.

I shudder from the romance and tightly close my eyes to try and ignore his advances.

"I hope that… you won't leave me like mom did…"

I open my eyes and turn to face him, looking a bit concerned.

"Ya know… when you came over that one time, Ren?" he smiles and stares at me, "mom was gone and we just sat downstairs watching tv? Those were fun times…"

I sigh heavily and sit up. I hate reminiscing. It makes me feel like shit. Stimpy loves looking back and I just really don't care.

"I never wanna forget those times, Ren~."

I look at him like he's crazy, though Stimpy had more of an… inviting look on his face. I remember the fight that I had with him before I left and hide my face in my hands, feeling a nauseous flip in my stomach.

"Can you just shut the fuck up already?" I weakly mutter, trying to hold down the alcohol in my body.

Stimpy's ears went back and he gently pat my hand.

"I'm gonna get you some water, honey~"

I nearly gag at his stupid pet names he calls me. Watching him leave, I quickly get up and got to the bathroom. I stand in front of the sink, staring at myself. I looked like a drunk wreck. Bags under my eyes, clammy hands, and messy hair… god damn I'm disgusting.

I turn on the cold water and splash my face with some to try and help me get my bearings together.

"Fuck… what's wrong with me…?" I say as I look at myself in the mirror, my face now dripping wet.

"Ren?" Stimpy walks into the bathroom holding a glass of water.

Startled, I look at him.

Stimpy walks over and strokes my hair back, partly drying my wet face with his shirt sleeve.

"Oh… you look so horrible…" He wraps his arms around me.

Guilt takes another punch in my gut making me nearly double over if it weren't for Stimpy holding me.

"Don't worry Renny, I'll take good care of you~" he strokes my back and nuzzles into my shoulder.

I finally break and push him away as I fall to my knees in front of the toilet, arms wrapped around my stomach as I puke out the alcohol in my system.

Stimpy kneels next to me carefully and rubs my back, stroking my hair back as well.

"It's better you get it all out, Ren… it's gonna be ok."

I sigh heavily and cough a couple times. I look over at Stimpy and stare at his calm and comforting eyes. I weakly lean on him as he comforts me.

"I hate this…"

"You'll feel better once it's out of your body, Renny~"

I place my hand over my mouth and lean some more against him as exhaustion starts to take over. He strokes my hair and I feel a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I love you, Ren~"


	4. Impact

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~  
____________________________

"Mmm… augh fuck…. My head…"

I muttered as I awoke to a painful throbbing in my head. I glared at the curtains and sighed heavily. Turning away, I felt something warm and soft brush against me. I looked up to see Stimpy sleeping peacefully next to me.

Stimpy had his arms wrapped around me and was nuzzled comfortably into my neck. He must've been takin' care of me all night… damn it. Of course he'd be there. He always fuckin' is.

I push him off slightly and sit up. I could barely remember anything from the other night, aside from puking my guts out. Guess I don't wanna remember.

Ruffling my hair, I notice how greasy it is and groan. I never forget about my hygiene like this… fuck it. No need to worry about nothing.

I get out of bed, head into the bathroom and start to take off my clothes, tossing them onto the bathroom floor in a corner. I yawn and close the door quietly as to not wake up Stimpy.

My reflection in the mirror told me exactly how I felt, exhausted. I tried my best to smooth out my dirty blonde hair as I looked at myself.

"Man, look at ya… what a mess." I softly say as I rub my eyes.

I turn away and start up the shower.

 

"Morning Renny~!" Stimpy happily says as he hugs me tightly.

I flinch and sigh heavily, "Yeah yeah…"

Stimpy giggles and brushes away my wet hair from my face.

"How is my Ren doing this morning? Feeling any better?"

I walk into the kitchen and pour myself some coffee to try and drown out the hangover. "I guess."

Stimpy walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He brushed against my neck and kissed it, making me shiver a bit from the sudden approach.

"I'm glad you're ok, Ren~. I just worry, that's all."

I take a few sips of my coffee to try and ignore him.

Nothing happened last night… nope. Nothing. Just dealing with a hangover. Nothing out of the—

"I love you." Stimpy tightened his grip around my waist, making me freeze up with nervousness.

He actually said 'I love you'…what a lie. I mean, everyone says that even if you're a friend. Doesn't mean jack shit.

I gulp down my drink and turn to face him, pushing him off.

"Y-yeah yeah ok Stimpy… ehe.. I get the memo, 'don't do that again, Ren.' Everything is ok, alright?"

"I wasn't saying that, I was just—

"Shut up, Stimpy." I glare at him, trying to block out my thoughts. "Just make breakfast."

Stimpy looked away, then looked at me and smiled.

"You got it~."

I turn away and stare at my coffee, my thoughts rambling and yelling as I try to clear my mind.

I could use a smoke…

Picking up the pack of cigarettes, I sit at the table and light one. The smooth smoke calmed me as I stared at the lit end.

Maybe I should talk to him about why he doesn't belong… yes… that's what I should do. Or maybe he's making everything up I don't know. I'm tired of this bullshit.

"Ren?" Stimpy nudged me as I looked over at him.

"Huh?"

Stimpy smiled to see me respond and he placed some cereal in front of me. He sat across from me and stared at me like… he was in fucking preschool. As if he was watching someone eat while he was hungry. He had food too, but wasn't eating…

I convince myself that he's just fine, put the cigarette out in the ashtray, and I start to eat.

"Well?"

I look at him with a confused expression. "What..? It's just cereal."

"I know, but did I pick the right kind?"

I shrug, honestly not giving a fuck. Since when did he care about cereal anyway? Stimpy only cares if I like it if he makes it.

He looked a bit disappointed to hear my response.

"It's fine, alright?"

Stimpy smiled and nodded as he too started to eat.

"So uh… Ren… about yesterd—

"Don't wanna talk about it." I quickly say. I really didn't want to talk about it. It's too early.

"No I mean… I kinda…-

"What?" I glare at him with annoyance.

Stimpy looks away.

"I… feel like you don't need me."

I stop eating and stare at him.

"I mean… what you told me yesterday, that you wouldn't feel right if you didn't see me here, I… That means I do belong, right?"

I feel my body tense up at his stupid question.

"Uhh…"

"Because I really don't wanna go back to mother, but I don't wanna stay if I don't belong with you…"

"Christ, you say it like it's a bad thing." I say coldly. "I literally don't fucking care if you stay or not, Stimpy."

"But… you said—

"I didn't fucking mean it! You DON'T belong here, Stimpy! You don't belong at home either!" I glare sharply at him as my fist clenches.

He stares at me as I continue raising my voice.

"Just because you don't belong anywhere, doesn't mean I'm gonna toss you out! Fucking hell, I never knew you were so stupid!"

Stimpy looks down, his cat ears lowered slightly. He then looks up at me.

"Then why did you say you didn't want me to go back home...?"

My annoyance is at boiling point and I quickly stand up, walk over to him, and push him out of the chair. I sit on top of him and start punching his face in as he tries to block me.

With every hit I make, I yell out, "BECAUSE. YOU. DON'T. NEED. TO!" I punch him hard across the cheek and pant softly.

Stimpy coughs a few times, some blood lightly dripping from his mouth as he covers his face. His body is trembling and shaking in pain and fear.

I stare at him, feeling my grip on my own sanity starting to diminish. I raise my fist again, but Stimpy stops me.

"I-I'm sorry R-Ren!" he blurts out as he stares at me with tear stained bruised eyes. "I won't bring it up again!"

I stand up and growl softly, obviously not through. I kick him as hard as I can on his back, causing him to curl into a ball and cry in pain.

"You fucking piece of shit…" I growl softly. "You're so stupid you'll stick with anyone that hurts yo—

"I only stay here b-because I love you!" he yells back at me as he staggers to his feet. "I love you too much to leave you, Ren!"

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU BEG YOUR MOM IF YOU COULD GO HOME?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN ON YOU!" He finally says as tears stream down his face.

The room gets silent and an uneasy feeling fills the air.

"Y-You're the only person wh-who's cared so much about me… I…I don't wanna be a burden on you…"

I stare at him as he turns away from me. I feel my sanity return.

"S…Stimpy… I just—

"No Ren… It's ok. Just… I'll leave you."

My ears perk up and I quickly grab his arm.

"Stimpy please don't!" I beg him.

"Ren… it's better if I just leave for a while. I'll be back, I promise.~" he solemnly moves my hand off of him and walks out the door.

I stare at the closed door and I feel the tension crash down on me. I'm frozen in that spot as I stupidly stand there, hoping to whatever god is out there that he comes back.

He's really gone…


	5. Been Through Worse

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~  
____________________________

I sat on the couch, staring at my cellphone. It's been hours and I haven't heard anything from Stimpy. I sent him so many texts and called him so many times... I was acting like I was some kind of fuckin' addict. What a piece of shit I am... I treat him like he's a fuckin' child. He kinda is since he doesn't have any fucking intelligence, but... fuck... he's still a grown man, god damn it. I need to treat him like one.

A sudden ringing comes through my phone as I'm about to toss it at the wall in annoyance. Quickly, I answered it to hear an older man's voice which I recognized immediately as Dr. Mr. Horse.

"Good evening, Mr. Hoek."

"Hello Doctor..."

"I take it Stimpson already told you about the accident?"

I feel my heart jump and I quickly get to my feet.

"WHAT?! ACCIDENT? W-WHAT ACCIDENT? IS HE OKAY?!"

"Please now, everything is fine, sir. It's better if I explain things to you in person, Mr. Hoek. Please come to the hospital and I will meet you int he emergency waiting room."

I hang up quickly and rush out the door, noticing my car keys still on the end table near the door. I speed to the hospital as I worry for Stimpy.

You really can't live without making sure he's ok. Now you'll never be able to live with yourself.

***

"He was in a hit and run accident, Mr. Hoek. I told you already, we have not found the person responsible." The doctor looks back at me as he straightens his suit up. "Once I hear the word, I will contact you, I promise."

"What bullshit that is..." I mutter as I glare at the tiles under my feet.

I can't fuckin' believe this… what a great fuck up you are, Ren.

"Here we are, Mr. Hoek." The doctor stops me as he has his hand on the doorknob. "Now, I must tell you, stay calm. He's in pretty bad shape as it is. He doesn't need any extra drama or pain."

I look up at him and nod slowly. I watch as he opens the door and I walk in as the door closes behind me. I nearly fall to my knees as I see him in bed.

Stimpy had an oxygen mask on him as well as some bandages over his face; his shirt was off with some ace bandages wrapped around his torso. His wrists were bandaged as well and he was covered in bruises. His breathing was soft and the heart monitor was beeping softly in the rhythm of his heartbeats.

I gulped softly and slowly walked over to him. I felt tears sting my eyes as concern and worry flooded my body as well as an exceptional amount of guilt. Carefully, I took his hand and stroked it, pulling a chair closer and sitting as I did so.

"Oh god…. L-look at you…" I quietly said, choking back tears. "J-jesus… I…Stimpy I'm so sorry…" I wiped tears from my eyes as they fell.

I felt his hand gently hold mine, which made me look at him. Stimpy weakly looked over at me.

"Y-you didn't do anything, Ren…" He softly says with a raspy tone.

"Stimpy no I—

"Uh-uh. I walked out into oncoming traffic, Ren. I just didn't see the sign change."

"Well, regardless, I shouldn't have made you so upset!" I say back with annoyance now festering in me. "It's my fault, alright? You… didn't do anything…" I look away with a huge amount of guilt tearing me up.

Stimpy, knowing any comeback he'd make would be countered, closed his eyes and sighed softly.

I shakily let go of his hand and saw his phone on his bedside. The screen was cracked and there were bloodstains on it. Feeling I needed to make it up to him, I took some tissue and wiped the blood off, being extra careful to avoid the glass.

"Ren… please don't worry about me."

I look over at him.

"I get it. I'm not wanted. That's what you've been trying to tell me all these years, right?" He looks over at me with teary eyes.

I put his phone and the tissue down and walk over to him. I wanted to yell and smack the shit outta him so badly, but I somehow managed to control it. Staring at him with a serious look, I finally speak up.

"Stimpy… it pains me to say this… and I mean it really pains me to say this, but… I…" I nervously tug on my shirt collar. "I can't live without you at home. A-and don't even…" I try to get the words out as I look away. I was always bad at reassurance. "Don't try to tell me otherwise. God damn it, I… I can't go on if you were to..." I look down, unable to finish my sentence as I start thinking the worst.

Stimpy weakly takes my hand and strokes it.

"Stop… I get the message, Ren." He weakly smiles as tears stream down.

I nod and glance at him.

You gotta make it up to him now, ya know. You can't just expect one sentence to say everything.

I grab some tissue and wipe away his tears. I stare into his glassy blue eyes. They had that warm look in them that always made me realize what and where home was. I hugged him tightly, nuzzling my face carefully into his chest. Strangely enough, I… started crying. As dumb as it sounds, I guess I'm just too… human to quite drown out my subconscious.

Stimpy wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.

"It's ok," he softly said. "I forgive you.~"


	6. Losing it

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

____________________________

It's been two months since Stimpy was involved in the hit and run accident. I started going back to work in my regular hours of the day, mostly in the morning. Stimpy was fully healed by now and our moods weren't… great, but we were doing ok.

I slip on my work clothes, ready for another boring and uneventful day at the office. My ears perk up as I hear the bedroom door open.

"Ren?" Stimpy started as he walked in.

"Getting ready for work, what is it?" I say as I tie my shoes.

"Um… I'm gonna go to the store today. Is there anything you want me to pick up?"

I glance at him as I light my cigarette.

"Yeah, just my usual."

"Two packs of smokes and a case of beer, right?"

I nod and grab my coat.

"Guess ya ain't such a dumbfuck." I mutter as I walk downstairs.

As I grab the door handle, I'm stopped by Stimpy as he takes hold of my arm.

"Have a nice day~." He says softly.

"Yeah yeah I know Stimpy, now lemme go." I glare back at him.

I feel his arms carefully wrap around my waist as he nuzzles into my back.

"I love you~. Be safe~."

Feeling anger and nervousness rise in my gut, I quickly push him off and head out the door.

***

I drove quietly as the snow gently fell from the cloudy sky. Taking a deep breath, I relax against the seat as the annoying red traffic light wouldn't change. I look at myself in the rearview mirror and smooth out my hair.

Tapping my fingers on the wheel, I start to wonder what's going on with Stimpy. And why… he's acting like this.

Maybe he's just being a little clingy. I mean, he says 'I love you' so much that it's working my nerves. But then again, maybe I actually do… love him back..?

The very thought made my stomach churn. I quickly shake off the thought and continue driving once the light turns green. I don't love Stimpy! I-I don't! Why would I even bother with that thought if it weren't true?! Ugh… I feel disgusting. There's no way I… anyone can love Stimpy! I just must be tired… yeah that's it… tired.

***  
Work was brutally boring. Everything seemed slow paced and quiet. I always slacked off on my work even when things were normally so quick-moving. I filed out the necessary papers for my boss' issues regarding customer service. Astounding that he gives me a job I could care less about.

My thoughts were still running with the idea that I love Stimpy. No matter how hard I try to tell my own subconscious to shut the fuck up, nothing worked. I sat there, with the very thought on my mind. I started to wonder if he was ok at home alone. I mean he just got out of the hospital two months ago… what if something happens?

I run my fingers through my hair and sigh heavily.

There's no use in getting this customer service shit done. I can barely concentrate.

I leave my work desk and head into the break room. I grabbed a cup of water and stared out the window. The snow was now falling pretty fast, which as relaxing as it normally was, I started to get worried.

Stimpy did say he was going to the store… oh god.. what if something happened? What if he got hit again? Shit, I gotta call him.

I headed outside into the hallway and dialed Stimpy's number. A voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Stimpy! Oh thank god… where the hell are you?"

"I'm at home, Ren. Why?"

Feeling stupid, I blinked a couple times.

"It's snowing and I just…"

"Were you worried?"

I feel my voice get stuck in my throat.

"Y..y…NO!" I finally say.

"Oh…" he sounds a bit let down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—

"Just stay inside ok?" I growl softly.

"Yeah sure thing." Stimpy replies, sounding saddened.

I sigh heavily and cross my arms. "Ok well I gotta go."

"Alright… oh uh, be safe and I love you!" He says cheerfully.

Without any reply, I quickly hang-up and stuff the phone into my back pocket.

He said it again. 'I love you'. He cares so much for you and you know you care for him too.

I feel an acidic taste in the back of my throat at the thought. With my hand over my mouth, I rush to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. I splashed cold water on my face and watched my reflection. I could feel my psychosis starting to take control as I fought against it.

"N-no… I don't love him…" I swallow down the acid that burned my esophagus, and glare at my reflection. The… 'me' in the mirror looked as if it was a different version of myself. It started to speak back to me.

"Yes you do, Ren. You've loved him for years. You're just too scared to admit it."

I shook my head and glared at myself.

"No I'm not! I just don't fucking care about him!"

"You seem pretty sure for someone who worries himself sick for your best friend's health."

I look down, panting softly as my conscious tried to convince myself that I was hallucinating.

"We're just friends…"

"Yes, because friends will kiss one another from time to time and constantly worry for one another." The other me smirked as I looked at him. "Admit it. You're weak without him."

Anger and denial flooded my body as his voice said that. I responded to myself with a hard punch that shattered the mirror. My heart was racing so fast and beating so hard that I could nearly feel it through my shirt. The world felt like it was drifting away from me as it turned into a blur. My body was shaking uncontrollably; I pulled my fist away from the glass that fell to the tile floor with a shatter. Blood dripped from my knuckles as small glass shards were now stuck in my hand. I stumbled back and fell flat on my ass a few inches away from the now broken mirror.

"You're wrong…" I say softly to myself as I hear voices all around me. "You're not weak… I'm not weak… I'll show you…"

I looked around to see no one standing near me. I hear the voices of people, but none that I can see. Suddenly, I am picked up and I feel a sharp pain in my wrist that lasts for only a second. A cool liquid flows into my bloodstream and I start to see things again. There are shadows over me, strapping me to a bed.

I strain my eyes to be able to see, but to no avail. The mass of voices start to clear my head and I start to come out of my episode. I feel the rocky movement of a car as if… I'm being transported somewhere. The liquid must've been a sedative… I'm getting really tired…

See? I told you. You're weak.


	7. Dystopia

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~  
____________________________

You're real stupid when it comes to admitting things to yourself.

"Well… how do you mean?"

I mean that you've developed a sense of longing when you're away from Stimpy. That stupid goofy smile, his warm hugs, the constant asking of how you're doing… it's pretty friggin' obvious. 

"What is…?"

That you love him. Just face it, man! You never had any of that when you were growing up, and to have that attention and love all on you—

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?! I WILL NEVER LOVE STIMPY! I don't deserve some fucking idiot like him!"

Then why am I even telling you what you're feeling?

"Because this is… just a dream.. yeah…"

No, because it's the truth.

"Mm…" I slowly awaken from the sedation as my mind clears. "W-what…?" I look around for anyone in sight, which I'm met with disappointment.

I was in a hospital room hooked up to an iv drip and my right hand bandaged with some gauze. I could barely remember what had happened… to be honest, I only remember falling asleep. Maybe I am going crazy, I don't know.

"And of course, I can't fuckin' move…" I softly say as I try to sit myself up, but failing every time.

I hear the door open and relax against the bed. Relief flooded my body as I saw Stimpy walk in and rush over to me.

"Oh… Ren? Are you ok?" He asks as he takes my bandaged hand and strokes it.

"Heh.. who me? I'm fine, Stimpy." Trying to toughen up so he wouldn't think I'm some weak ass, I force myself to sit up, nearly collapsing if it weren't for Stimpy's support. "Ya know how I am. I'll be outta here tomorrow!"

Stimpy looked at me with that serious and concerned look. It made me uneasy… he normally never has that expression unless he's straight up serious about something.

"Really, I'm ok!" I say again, getting irritated with his look.

"Ren… your doctor called after the incident a-and—

"Incident?" I tilt my head a bit as I relax in the bed. "What incident?"

Stimpy sighed softly and stroked my hair back. "It was nothing, Ren..~ Just forget I ever said anything."

I gave him a quizzical look.

"Did I do something?"

"Well… I dunno the full story, but your boss said that… you punched one of the bathroom mirrors… I think." Stimpy looked down at my bandaged hand.

Ah hell… now I remember…

I groan softly from the sudden wave of memories from earlier. "Fuck… I forgot…"

"Your boss said that… he can't…" He looks away and exhales. "He wants you to get some psychological help before you go back to work."

"What the fuck?" I sigh sharply and strain myself to sit up. "Psychological help? I'm not some fucking nutjob! I don't need any god damn 'help'! I can handle myself just fucking fine!"

"I know I know," he begins as he gently lays me back down, his hand placed over my chest. "But your boss won't allow you to work until he sees a referral from the psychiatrist saying that you're allowed to work again."

I stare at him with annoyance as he finishes talking. "You're fucking kidding me."

Stimpy shakes his head and gently wipes my bangs from my face. "No, I'm not… I mean, I wouldn't tell you if I wasn't sure."

Looking away, I close my eyes. "Fucking astounding. Just what I needed to hear."

"Uh… what is a psychiatrist, Ren?"

I rub my eyes, hoping that I was just hearing that. "Stimpy… you know what a psychiatrist is…"

"Well I just want to know what they—

"A psychiatrist is just some jerkoff who gives you medication for bullshit you can handle yourself!" I snap in irritation. "The only reason why anyone trust them is because they apparently have some PhD in psychology."

Stimpy stares at me with a confused expression.

I glare at him.

"They're doctors."

"Oh! Well… that makes more sense~."

I sigh softly and turn over away from him.

"Wake me up when something important happens."

"Ok Ren~. You get your rest, I'll be right here~."

I roll my eyes at his response as I let the exhaustion start to take control.

***

"So tell me everything that happened from that day, Mr. Hoek." The psychiatrist, Dr. Mr. Horse, says as he takes out his notebook and pen.

I sit on the chair and in front of him and sigh softly.

This is so fucking stupid. Look at where you are, Ren. Stuck in a room with some quack of a doctor. You should've known better than—

"Mr. Hoek?" The doctor says again as he nudges my shoulder.

I look at him, blinking as I broke my chain of thought.

"You may start now." He says once again with a reassuring smile.

I lean back in the chair and look away.

"There ain't no way I'm telling you anything." I say as I cross my arms, staring him down. "I shouldn't even be here, this is a mistake."

The doctor nods at my disobedience and watches me.

"I see… well sir, your boss here has wrote a letter," he digs into a manila folder and pulls out a typed out letter, "regarding your incident at work and says here 'Ren Hoek is not allowed back to his shift until he is acquitted via written note by you.'" He slides the letter back into the folder and looks at me.

Weighing my options, I groan softly and glare at the psychiatrist. "Fine. What do you wanna hear?"

"Wherever you feel comfortable."

I sigh heavily and sit up. I never like talking about anything. It's so fucking bothersome and boring. I mean, who the fuck will even care?

"I guess it started when I heard this… fuck I don't know, voice or whatever."

He nods slowly and writes notes down.

"I see… where did this 'voice' come from?"

I look over. "Does it even fucking matter?"

"I'm afraid so."

"I don't know, god damn it." I say in annoyance as I glare at him. "I mean, it's my voice, I know that." I start to question myself and why I'm even spilling my guts to some stranger. "I haven't done anything out of the usual for me, really. I'm just kind of confused about some shit. That's all you even need to know."

The doctor nods.

"Do you sometimes feel like you're imagining this… your voice?"

I look at him stupefied and look down.

"Kind of, but it's… I'm not crazy!" I glare at the man as he watches me. "Don't even make that damn assumption!"

He pats my hands that are balled up into shaking fists, and chuckles to himself, "Now now Mr. Hoek, no one is assuming anything here. No need to be nervous."

"The way you make it sound says otherwise…" I mutter softly. "Look, all I know is that sometimes I see and hear shit, alright?"

"Hmm…" The doctor writes down some notes and glances at me. "How bad are these hallucinations?"

My ears droop down as I realize how deep I'm in now.

Nice going, idiot.

I gulp and look away. "I… don't know. Sometimes they're… pretty vivid and other times, it's just whispers."

"Explain vivid."

"Fuck, ya know, like… seeing a shadow when there's no one around ya. Just clearly hearing yourself talk to you, I guess."

The doctor nods and writes down some notes.

"What it sounds like is auditory and visual hallucinations, Mr. Hoek." He walks over to the bookshelf and retrieves a book titled "The Science of Mental Disorders". Turning to one of the pages, he hands me the book.

"Tell me, does this sound like you?"

I take it and read the title. "Psychosis/Psychopathy…" I nervously read quietly to myself. I skim down the pages to read about the symptoms. "The signs of a person suffering with Psychosis may experience a varying degree of hallucinations, delusions, catatonia, and a ranging severity of disordered thought process. Other symptoms include a loss of contact with reality, affective mood disorders, and depression."

The doctor fills out a slip of paper and looks at me. "I think you may suffer with psychopathic tendencies."

I stared at the book blankly and I close it. My hands were a bit shaky, my mouth was dry, and my heart was racing.

No… I mean I know I'm pretty fucked up but…

"I'm going to start you off on an antipsychotic medication. Take one pill once a day after eating. Do not drink alcohol after or while you take it, don't drive after taking it, just relax." He hands me a prescription for some medicine called 'abilify'.

I stare at the paper and run my fingers through my hair. "So this is how it is, huh… me being fucking crazy."

"I know it's hard to grasp, Mr. Hoek, but that medicine will help lessen these episodes."

I look down at the floor, then stare at the paper in my hand.

The doctor places his hand on my shoulder. "You'll be alright."

I nod slowly, not even looking at him.

"I want to see you back in about two weeks. If you're doing better by then, then I will write the note for your return to work."

He leads me out of his office and I sigh heavily, putting the prescription in my pocket.

You're a real piece of work, aren't ya. In denial so bad that you gave in to your issues again. When will you learn, Ren?

I sigh softly, ignoring my now-obvious hallucination. Walking out to the car, the voice continues.

All you had to do was be a man and own up to what you were thinking. But no, you go crazy, break a mirror, and spilled your guts. Great job.

Steadily looking down as depression starts to take over my body, I open the car door and get in the driver's seat.

Watch out, you might hit something if you let your crazy self drive. 

The car starts up as I put the keys in the ignition. I exhale sharply, starting to get frustrated with my own voice.

What's the matter? Getting mad at yourself because you slipped?

"Shut up…" I say through gritted teeth.

You brought this all on yourself.

"I said shut up!" I yell at the image of myself next to me in the passenger's seat.

You're just telling yourself to shut up. Take your own advice.

I start to breathe heavily as I tightly close my eyes. I pull on my ears to try and block out the voice, no matter how much it hurt. Suddenly, I start hearing a loud crowd of voices huddled around me as if they're whispering in my ears.

You're crazy. Freak. Pathetic. You're just someone's puppet.

It's all repeating around me. I feel as if I'm floating in a sea of voices as they increasingly get louder and louder and louder… until finally...

"SHUT UP!" I scream.

The voices leave immediately and I quickly open my eyes to see that I haven't left the parking lot. The other me was gone and the car was quiet. My breathing was heavy and I was shaky and clammy. I keep the car in park and take out a cigarette to try and calm myself. I light it and shakily breathe the toxins in and out.

This is it… I really am crazy…


	8. Migraine

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~  
____________________________

"Stimpy? I'm home." I say as I walk into the house, slamming the door behind myself.

Stimpy walks over to me and smiles. "Oh welcome home, sweetie~!" he gently hugs me and rubs my back. "How was your therapy session?"

I sigh deeply and lean against him, completely exhausted from depression. "I don't have time for a thousand questions, alright?" I push him off and lay on the couch, grabbing one of the throw pillows and laying on it.

"Well I hope you had fun~!"

"Yeah. What a blast." I say sarcastically.

Stimpy kisses my cheek and strokes my hair back gently.

"I'm glad~."

I hide my face in my pillow, getting quickly annoyed at his ignorance.

"Make yourself fucking useful, Stimpy. Go do something." I mutter into the pillow.

"Alrighty~! It's almost dinnertime, so I better go get started!" He pats my shoulder and gets up, walking away.

I slowly start to drift into sleep as I relax.

***

I awake in a daze with blurs all around me, shadows surrounding me. They have twisted smiles and clawed hands that are placed on my cheek, chest, and forehead. My breathing speeds up as I look around, pushing myself up against the hands that resisted. My vision clears as I see myself staring at me. He crawls closer and I scoot away.

"What the fuck… w..what are you doing?" I say raspily as I hit the armrest on the couch.

He doesn't say anything and stares at me. Slowly, I watch his eyes fade to a dark inverted blue color… ironically the same color as Stimpy's soft blue eyes. He starts to growl and he grabs my wrists, his claws getting deeper into my skin until I see blood oozing out.

You're pathetic…

I bite my lip and tightly shut my eyes, starting to tremble in fear as I feel my life fading.

"It's not real… this isn't happening… I'm just hallucinating…"

Because you're crazy…

I feel a migraine starting as I open my eyes and stare into my other self's eyes. His face is close to mine, showing his twisted fiendish teeth as he glares me down. Black sludge starts to drip from his mouth as he glides his claws under my chin, leaning near my ear.

It's only a matter of time…

I gulp and I stare ahead of me as the shadows get closer.

"Until…what…?" my voice quivers in fear.

Until Stimpy abandons you.

My eyes go wide as the shadows quickly lunge at me. My body tenses up and I cry out, as I shut my eyes.

Quickly sitting up, I pant heavily, sweat beading down my forehead as I shake uncontrollably on the couch. I look around and see Stimpy next to me, meeting my eyes with a soft gentle smile.

"Hey there, Renny~." He calmly says.

Feeling relieved to see him, I hug him tightly, nudging my face into his chest.

"Poor thing… you're clammy… wait here." Stimpy sets me aside and retrieves a cool damp washcloth from the bathroom. He returns to me and places it on my forehead, carefully wiping my cheeks and neck with the cool cloth. It felt so nice…

I relax into the pillow and close my eyes, trying to breathe easy.

Stimpy smiles and holds my hand.

"I came home after picking up something for dinner, and you were breathing fast and whimpering… did you have a bad dream, sweetie?"

I look at him and lie, not wanting to let him know just how crazy I am. "Y-yeah… just uh… a nightmare."

Stimpy's ears go down and he gently strokes my hand. "Ah I'm sorry, Ren…"

"Its fine, Stimpy…"

He gently lifts up my hand. "How does your hand feel..?"

I look at my hand. Guess I've been so caught up with my mental state that I forgot it was still healing.

"Eh… its fine I suppose. Kinda forgot about it."

Stimpy gently removes the gauze and checks up on it. His thumb carefully slides on the scar tissue, making sure the cuts were healed.

"At least the cuts are healing… right?" He glances at me, giving me that stupid smile that spoke 'at least one thing is getting better'.

I shrug and place my hand on the washcloth, fixing it on my forehead to try and lessen the pain of my migraine.

The oven dings and Stimpy gets up. "I gotta check on dinner, Ren~ be right back~!" he kisses my hand and walks over to the kitchen.

I watch him and look at my unbandaged hand. There were multiple scars near my knuckles from the glass. Sighing, I place my hand on my stomach.

I can't believe I'm that stupid… dreaming about pointless bullshit… just kill me.

The nightmare repeats in my head as I remember what happened.

Stimpy will abandon you.

I blink and stare at myself as he lingers over me.

He's probably against you… everyone is.

"Stimpy won't abandon me."

He probably talks about you behind your back.

"Stimpy would never do that..."

"I'd never do what?" Stimpy's voice breaks my mental thought as he comes into vision.

I nervously sit up and look away.

"N-nothing…" I look at him and quickly change the subject. "Is dinner ready yet?"

"Almost, just a few more minutes~!"

I sigh heavily and turn to face him, "Well you better hurry up. I'm starving."

Stimpy brushes my hair away with his fingers and smiles reassuringly at me.

"Of course Ren~."

***

I wait impatiently in line at the pharmacy to pick up my medication since the prescription was filled. Tapping my fingers on the receptionist desk, I watch the lady walk around and pick up the medicine bottle.

"Here you are, Mr. Hoek." She hands me a white bag with my medication in it. "You're scheduled for a refill next month."

I nod as I take the bag and sigh softly.

"Have a nice day!"

I look at her and start to walk away.

It's gonna be anything but nice. Having to rely on medicine in order to act normal… what kind of lunatic am I…?


	9. Repression

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

**abuse mention**

*** This whole chapter is based solely on headcanons and are NOT related to the actual story behind the characters in the show***  
____________________________

I stared at my prescription bottle in my hands. Hesitation filled my body as I blankly read the label in my head. Sighing, I try to open it, but am stopped by someone pulling my arm. I look behind myself to see what… I guess was a shadowy figure with a strong grip. The figure spoke in a low voice that I swear sounded familiar.

"Ren hoek, you better not touch that."

I watched as the hand set down my prescription bottle on the coffee table shakily (the actions were my own, but… I felt like I was being controlled to do every movement).

"Thatta boy." The figure spoke as it came into light.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw my father's face. That look of… a deranged pastor who had a rough day at work. His breath reeked of alcohol as he breathes heavily in front of me. My eyes going wide, I desperately try to gain control of my body, but nothing was responding to my urges.

"Now you know what happens when you touch daddy's stuff, don't ya?"

I look over at my pills and see them had changed to a pack of cigarettes with one in my hand. Fearfully, I look back at my father.

"Yeah, you know what happens." He raises his hand and slaps me hard against my face, causing my body to hunch over in sharp pain.

I try to cry out but no sound was made. Looking up, I see the interior of the house was changed to my childhood home. Whether it was a fucking memory or not I don't know, but it was terrifying me to no end. I strain to hear mom and dad arguing about how I should torture things. Mom suggests a chainsaw while dad suggests a gun. The voices get louder, making my ears hurt until I'm suddenly grabbed by my father by the wrist. He drags me out to the yard and puts our cat next to the finishing tree. He shoves a gun in my hand and starts yelling at me to pull the trigger.

Confused by what the fuck I'm even imagining, I look around. Blood and guts are everywhere outside, there are dismembered animals and humans around me and scattered throughout the backyard. My heart beats faster and my hands get sweaty and shaky. I'm suddenly smacked in my back from dad as he screams at me to do something.

I look at the cat, feeling pity and regret. I finally look back at dad and glare at him.

"What the fuck do you mean do it?!" Tears fill my eyes. "Mom bought this cat for the family! I'm NOT killing it!" I throw the gun at my father.

He glares at me with the look of pure insanity. Dad glocks the gun and points it at me.

"I swear to god if you don't do this one thing I fucking ask you to, Ren…" He growls angrily at me. "Then I'll do something we'll both regret."

I nearly faint at the threat and tremble in fear. A tiny meow sounds behind me as I take the gun from my dad.

Holding the gun, I turn around and shakily aim it at the cat's head. I look into its eyes and see the fear. I nearly break down as my finger is on the trigger.

"C'mon damn it!" My father yells as he clenches his fists. "You've killed animals before, son! Use your fucking head and GET IT OVER WITH!" He slaps my back, causing the trigger to be pulled.

I freeze up as I see the now dead cat's brains all over the dirt as it bleeds out. The gun falls and tears slide down my face.

"That's my boy." My father says as he pats my back. "You'll be a great gunman. I need to show your mother." He walks away.

Falling to my knees, I stare at my pet. I never cared for cats but… I've had this guy for years… and now he's…

"There there…" A voice says. It sounds like mine, but more.. strange.. as if the tone was lowered.

I look behind myself to see a copy of me kneeling beside me.

"He was a good cat now wasn't he?"

I wipe my tears away as I stare at the dead animal.

"Don't beat yourself up over it. You knew it would happen soon."

"I… I didn't know…" I softly say as my words get somewhat caught in my throat.

"It's over now. You need to rest."

My vision of the dead cat permanently scars my brain as I see my vision blur and turn to black.

Suddenly, I return to my reality back at home, staring at the prescription bottle as I was earlier. My heart is racing and I'm a shaky mess. I was like someone who had a fucking panic attack… just another sign of being weak.

Quickly, I take the bottle and open it, pouring some pills into my hand. The small round tablets seemed tempting as I put some of them back. Two of them now in my hand, I shut my eyes and take them, swallowing them down with some water beside me. I pant heavily as my head feels foggy from that memory.

I swear I forgot about that stupid shit…

"Ren? Did you take your medicine, sweetie~?" Stimpy says as he sits beside me.

Still trembling, I look over at him. I nod as I try to calm myself.

"Y-yeah…"

"Are you alright, Renny?" Stimpy said concerned as he took my hands.

"Yeah I just…" I run my fingers through my hair, the strands sticky with the sweat that was running down my forehead and neck. "I… fuck I don't fucking know." I say getting frustrated.

Stimpy wraps his arms around me and gently picks me up in that.. bridal manner.

"You certainly don't look well.." He says softly as he looks at my teary eyes. "How about a bath~? Would that help you feel better, sweetie?"

I stare at him and close my eyes.

"I don't fucking care."

"I'll give you one~. You'll feel better after one.~"

"Fine."

***

Stimpy had taken me into the bathroom and was taking my shirt off. I didn't know how bad I was shaking and how bad I was crying. My shirt was covered in tears and sweat and it was rather hard to remove it from my body.

I groan tiredly, "I can undress myself, you fuckin' moron."

"Alright, Renny~." Stimpy says as he turns away, getting the bath ready for me.

I start to take off my pants and boxers, wrapping a towel around myself. Stimpy gently helps me into the bath, taking the towel from me and placing it on the rack above the bath. The water felt so nice and relaxing. My body instantly relaxed from the warmth and my worries seemed to vanish.

"How does that feel, Ren~?" Stimpy asks as he strokes my hair back.

"Fine I guess…" I mutter.

Stimpy takes my hand and gently cleans the scars from earlier.

"Your body must be so tired, Ren… from these.. uhh.. issues you have…"

I want to smack him so fucking badly. He's treating me like I'm a god damn crazy piece of shit.

"But I want you to know that I'm gonna be here for you no matter what happens~." He smiles softly and kisses my scarred up hand.

The gesture was nice and made me blush. I sighed exasperatedly and look away with a slight blush.

"Yeah sure…"

Stimpy gently strokes his thumb on my hand. The feeling was so nice. Surrounded by warmth and having someone there. I hate Stimpy with every inch of my being but… he does know how to help me when I need it…

I look at him as I feel his lips against mine in a soft kiss. My eyes go a bit wide and I stare at him, unsure of how to react. Stimpy's hand gently caresses my cheek. I feel my face get hotter from the blush that spread across. Tired of just… all the bullshit I've seen in one day, I kiss him back.

I'm gonna regret kissing him… I know it.


	10. Perseverance

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Stimpy's POV~  
____________________________

 

He'll be alright… I think to myself as I stroke Ren's blonde hair back as he sleeps. He took his medicine, so… hopefully he'll be better in time.

It was around 8 am when I had woken up. All I could thing about was Ren and keeping him in my sight. He had been through… a lot with his recent… outbursts if that's the word, and I wanted to try and keep him as calm as possible. Poor thing… my best friend has been in such poor health… he doesn't deserve it.

I pull some more of the covers over him as he sleeps calmly in bed. I smile at him and wrap my arm around him, pulling him close.

"I'm sorry I can't share your pain, Ren…" I mutter softly as I gently glide my nails on his back. "I wish there was something I could do."

I felt so badly for him. Normally I help him no matter what, but things were… getting difficult now. Sure I'm having my share of… issues, but it's not really important compared to Ren's.

"I might not understand what you're feeling Ren, but I promise to do my best to help you." I lay beside him, my arm wrapped comfortingly around him and the covers tucked around both of us. "You just get your rest, Renny. I'll be right here~." I say as I watch him sleep.

***

"Let's see…" I say softly as I sift through the mail from today.

"Anything worth giving a fuck about?" Ren asks with annoyance as he exhales his cigarette.

"I'm looking, Ren~." I reply as I sit next to him on the couch.

I glance at the return addresses, mainly all of them were bills from Ren's psychiatrist with some exceptions being advertisements.

"Well, we have this bill from the doctor's." I say as I hand Ren the envelope.

He snatches it from me and reads the letter.

"Ya gotta be kidding me!" He says angrily.

I look over with a confused look.

"50 fuckin' dollars for one visit? We can't afford that!" He growls in anger.

"Now now Ren, no need to get all worked up—

He smacks me hard across the face.

"We can barely afford to pay the electric bills! What the fuck makes you think we can pay this… joke?!"

I rub my cheek and place my hand on his.

"Ren, relax… please. I can handle it."

"Pfft, yer too fucking stupid to pay anything. You don't even know how." He growls as he glares at me.

"Yes I do, Ren…" I reply as I keep my calm composure.

"I always gotta help you with it, shithead." He hisses.

I could tell I was quickly getting on his nerves, which was the last thing I wanted.

"I'll find a way, Renny. Don't worry about it~." I give him a reassuring smile.

He shrugs it off, crumples the letter up, and tosses it at my head.

"Then you fucking clean up this mess that YOU started!" He roughly jabs his finger in my chest.

I blink a few times as I watch him.

"If it wasn't for YOU and your…" he growls and punches my nose, causing me to hide my face in my hands. "YOUR FUCKING WORRYING, WE WOULDN'T BE IN SUCH A FINANCIAL RUT!"

Tears sting my eyes as I feel blood slide into my palms.

"All of this shit is all your fault!" He yells as another punch makes contact with my chest, causing me to gasp out for air.

I shake a bit and I look at him as I'm bent over from pain. His anger quickly turns to regret and he sighs heavily, looking away from me. Snatching the crumpled up letter from me, he gets up and takes the car keys.

"I'll take care of this bullshit."

I watch him leave, slamming the door behind himself. I wince as every breath I try to take feels like needles in my chest. I shakily get up and go into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet. I use my free hand to dig through the contents until I find some cotton balls. Whimpering, I remove my hand that was clasped over my nose; blood was all I saw. The crimson color had stained my hand and my face as I looked in the mirror. I take some sterile cloth and treat my bloody nose.

It is all my fault, isn't it? My ears went back at my thought. I mean… if I didn't get into that accident, he wouldn't have been put in this position… or maybe it's been waiting to happen… I don't know.

I clean off my face and hands from the blood. Tears fell on the sink mason as I slowly looked at myself in the mirror. My expression was nothing but pure sadness.

I never have my time to be sad… I always need to be happy for Ren .If I'm not happy for him, he won't be happy. I can't have that. I wipe my tears away. Just… I can do this. I know it. It's been worse. Ren is better than this and.. so am I.

I force myself to smile, thinking of the good things and swallowing down my worries.

There's no use in being so upset over this. He's certainly done worse, but he's gonna do better. I know it. He always does. And no matter what he does…

I find myself flooded with worry again as I turn off the faucets.

I'll be there for him…

I sigh heavily, still feeling pain in my chest. Carefully, I lift up my shirt and look at my chest, making sure there were no broken bones. Feeling my ribs gently, I check to make sure nothing feels abnormal.

"Nothing too serious… just some bruising…" I say softly as I pull my shirt down.

Looking at myself in the mirror was getting to be intimidating. I knew I wasn't doing so good and I feel as if something might happen soon. It's worrying me, but there's no time for worry. I have Ren to take care of.

I walk out of the bathroom and tidy up the living room for when he'll return. While cleaning, I come across the water bill and check how much we need to pay. I write down my bank information on the payment form and put it into a return envelope.

It's not a big deal. I can pay bills. Ren did teach me. I walk outside and put the letter in the mailbox, putting the flag up.

Returning in the empty house, I leaned back into the couch.

I can do this…


	11. Compassion

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Stimpy's POV~  
____________________________

Ren returned home not too long after handling the issue with his psychiatrist. He was more… quiet than when he left, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed it in fact; the silence in the living room as both of us sat shoulder-to-shoulder next to one another. It made me think on what I should do for the rest of the day.

"What's for dinner?" Ren muttered softly, his attention not on me.

I look over at him and wrap my arm around him.

"I dunno~! Whatever you want, Renny!"

Ren sighed in exasperation as he leaned back on the couch, pulling a couch pillow towards himself and laying his head down on it.

"Man, I told you, I don't fucking care what we have for dinner. Just fucking get to it."

I glance at the clock, and then look back at him.

" Well… it's only 2:15, so I'll get started a little later, Ren." I smile at him.

Shrugging off my response, he hides his face in the pillow.

"What's there to do in the meantime though?" I say to myself as I try to think of something.

Ren moans softly, "Shut uppppp…"

I look at him and gently rub his back.

"Oh come now, I'm just trying to think of—

"Just watch tv or something! I don't give a fuck what you do, alright?!" Ren interrupted as he glared at me.

Pulling my hand away, my cat ears slide down from his tone.

"You could fucking die for all I care and I wouldn't even bother with it!" Ren said in anger, sitting up, "Pfft, you're always a fuck up anyway so you'd do this world a favor!"

Melancholy rises in my chest as I look down steadily, taking the insults and abuse. I look at him. Those pink eyes filled with rage and… depression, if you will, were glaring at me like a knife to the chest.

Suddenly, Ren grabs my shoulders forcefully and pulls me in. I tightly close my eyes and brace myself for another onslaught of beatings.

"Don't you know just how much I fucking hate you?" He growls in anger. "I don't care what you do anymore! How many times have I fucking told ya that?!"

I slowly open my eyes, looking into his. I'm a bit taken aback as I see… tears in his eyes. He's… sad.

"Just do me a favor and GET OUT OF HERE!" He yells as he chokes back tears.

This is all too much for him… I think to myself as his grip gets loose around my shoulders. First the accident I had, then the incident at work, and now… I sigh internally. What kind of selfish person am I…?

Carefully, I wrap my arms around him, gently letting him rest against my chest. Surprisingly, he takes that offer as I feel a trembling little hug around my waist. He breathes rapidly as he cries, his tiny back and arms shaking from the overflow of emotions that he finally spills out. I hold him and rub his back, my hands gently caressing his tiny spine.

"I'm so sorry Ren…" I say softly, holding back my melancholy feelings, "I shouldn't have walked out a while ago… it was wrong and selfish of me and I'm so sorry…" I stroke his hair. "I shouldn't have left you at home alone…"

"I…I don't fucking care… You didn't fucking do anything!" He pulls away and glares at me. "Don'tcha see, it's all my fucking fault!" He roughly jabs his finger to his chest. "It always is!"

I watch him, wanting to disagree so badly.

"I'm the fucking crazy person here… not you…" He says as his voice trails off into a tiny whimper at the end of his sentence.

"Ren please… You didn't—

"Just save it.. I know what I did wrong." He stares at me with eyes the pleaded me to be quiet.

I hold down my rebuttal and take his hands.

"I can make it better so it's not that way, Ren…"

Ren scoffs at my reply and pulls his hands away.

"I'm fucking unfixable. You can't fix me, doctors can't… even medication can't…"

I put my finger to his lips as I feel tears sting my eyes. I hate hearing Ren speak like this. It's so heartbreaking that he thinks this way.

"Please just... give me a chance."

Ren looks away and has a defeated look in his eyes.

"Fine… it won't be easy, you know…"

"I know, but… I'm prepared for it." I laugh a bit, trying to hold back my sympathy. "I mean… I've been here by your side for years… why would I even give up?"

Ren looks away, lacking in a reply to me.

The room grows deathly quiet fast as the only sound that resonates in a low rumbling sound of thunder.

***

 

"What do you mean 'give me a chance'?" Ren asks as the dark bedroom illuminates with the occasional flash of lightning.

I look over at him as we lay next to one another in bed.

"I want a chance to help you… I know I can't understand your pain, but I'd like to try…"

Ren pulls the comforter closer to his face.

"Why do you care so much?"

I blink a few times, feeling my face blush a bit.

Because I love you, that's why! I just… can't say it… I mean, I have before but…

"Well?" He asks, getting impatient.

I look at him and scoot closer to him, holding his hand under the blanket.

"I care because…"

He gives me a questionable look.

I try to force the sentence out, but my body rejects my advances. I bite my lip, wanting to say it so desperately.

"Well?" He glares at me, now getting completely annoyed.

"I love you." I quickly say as I feel the blush spread across my face, making me feel vulnerable.

He stares at me, and then looks away.

"If only it were true." He finally speaks.

"What do you mean?"

"How can you love someone as… fucked up as me? Jeez… Ya gotta be real fucked up to love a crazy psycho like me…"

I lean in close to him.

"Ren, I've told you how much I care about you before. I've told you that I love you."

He rolls his eyes and turns away from me, laying flat on his back.

"It's fucking sick how you deal with me… I'm always this fucking jerk to you… but sometimes you just piss me off so fucking much that I just snap. I mean… A human being like you can't be so fucking stupid! At least… you can't be stupid enough to actually still want to live with me.. let alone care for me…" He laughs a bit top himself. "You're probably just making all of that up—

I lean over him, my lips pressed against his as I keep myself steady above his body. I gently place my hands on his cheeks and slide them through his stringy bangs. It's not long after I kiss him that I feel his hands around my neck, pulling me closer.

A low rumble of thunder sounds as I lean closer into him.

I wouldn't lie to the one I love.


	12. Excitement

**_**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters._ **

**_I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**_ **

**_**This chapter has NSFW in it!**_ **

**_~Stimpy's POV~_ **

____________________________

Ren pulled me in, our kiss deepening as his claws dug into my neck and back. I loved it. I slowly let my tongue enter his mouth, licking at his lips and making sure I don't, leave any spot unlicked. He lets out a tiny moan as I feel his body shiver against my palms as I hold his shoulders.

Ren sits up a bit and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling it back.

I wince out and stare at him. His eyes are lustful and dominant.

"Ya know what we haven't done in a while?"

I stare at him, questioning him.

"Let's have some fun."

"Fun? What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head.

"This kind of fun." Ren smirks as he roughly grabs my butt. I accidentally moan out and lean into his chest, tightly holding onto his shirt.

_He means that kind of fun…_

I look at him innocently, as of like a child.

I'm… not the best when it comes to having our fun. Ren usually controls everything and I never get a say. I'm consenting to it, always, but… Ren is pretty forceful with a lot of things and makes all the rules. Whatever makes him happy makes me happy.

Almost suddenly, I feel myself thrown against my pillows as he becomes in control. He has a… rather fiendishly lusty grin; his canines are sharp and they immediately draw my attention. He leans close to me and I can feel his warm breath on my neck, feeling myself getting goose bumps. He licks my bare neck and I bite my lip, wrapping my arms around his scrawny body. It feels so nice…

"You're such a fucking idiot." He hisses as he bites at my neck.

I feel my body shudder in delight as he keeps nibbling and biting.

"You just let me do whatever I want, huh?" He pulls away, smiling at me.

I nod obediently, smiling with half lidded eyes.

Ren positions himself on top of me so that he lays on my legs. Carefully, he pulls down my boxers and exposes my erection. Immediately, I blush and hide my face in my hands.

_Oh… so embarrassing… please don't notice, Ren…_

"Well well well… what's this?" he says as he pokes at my erect member.

"A-ahh~~…" I shakily moan out as I feel him play with the tip.

He glares at me, then roughly grabs my erection and starts to jerk it up and down.

Pleasure courses through my body as I cry out in delight. My constant moans filling the room as he pleases me. I feel myself silenced by his lips pressing roughly against mine.

He strokes my cheek as he licks around my mouth. I feel his hot moist tongue glide around my mouth, tapping and gliding against my teeth and wrapping around my own tongue.

His hand goes a bit faster, causing me to hold him closer as a shuddering cry of pleasure is muffled against his lips. I feel as of any second I'll just lose it. I try to keep myself holding on for a bit longer.

"Augh god… you never last long…" he mutters as he feels precum drip down and lubricates his hand.

"S-sorry, Ren…" I whimper out.

He goes faster, and faster, and faster until I feel my body shake from the near climax.

I bite my lip and dig my claws into his back as I cry out. Ren pulls away slowly as he glares at me. I pant heavily and look at him. His hand is covered in semen as he pulls his hand away.

"Augh… every fuckin time…" he mutters as he gets a towel from the bathroom to clean his hands off.

I lay there in bed, breathing heavily and feeling the high from the pleasure.

"Hey don't go to sleep, damn it!" Ren growls as he slaps my face.

I instantly look at him and sit up as he forcefully pulls up my boxers.

"You're forgetting the best part about this stuff." He growls as he lays in bed next to me.

I sit up and watch him as he takes off his pajama pants, revealing his erect penis.

"What about my turn?" He asks as he stares at me, as if saying 'If you don't do anything, you'll wish you did.'

I smile as this was my absolute favorite part of our fun. I position myself over him and look at him as I lower my head down and lick at his tip.

He sighs heavily, enjoying it all as he relaxes against his pillow.

"Aw fuck yeah…" he moans out softly as I use my tongue to lick around his erection.

I always loved to imagine that I was licking a lollipop when it came to Ren's turn. He loved it when I would lick at him and everything, it drove him wild.

Gently leaning more down, I engulf his cock. I smile as I lick it all around.

Ren moans out loudly and dogs his claws into the covers, his body shuddering with euphoria as I bob my head up and down slowly.

He glares, smirks, and pushes my head down further with force. I nearly gag as it almost hits the back of my throat.

"C'mon S-Stimpy… you've fuckin' done this before!" he growls as he shakes with pleasure.

True, I have done this before, but not in a while. I should've known better. No matter, I had to please him now and I know he needs it more than I.

Holding back my body's rejection, I deep throat his erection. I moan as I feel precum drip down my throat, sliding down. I look at him to see his back arching and hear his moaning sounds get choppy and short. He cries out as he reaches the climax.

I feel and taste his cum hit my throat and slide down. I blush and swallow all of it obediently so he won't be upset at me. I pull away once he's done and wipe my mouth off.

Ren is laying against his pillows as his body shakes, sweat dripping off his brow. I pull up his boxers and pants for him, then lay next to him. He looks at me with tired eyes and turns to face me. He then cuddles into my chest.

I smile and stroke his hair back to help him sleep.

"I love you…" I say softly as I feel his body relax against my hands.

Happily, I hold him close to me and close my eyes, drifting to sleep.


	13. Betrayal

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Stimpy's POV~

TWs: verbal abuse

**this chapter is based on headcanons!**

I stared at the Sunkist sky as crisp autumn air wafted through the trees. I loved how nice it felt this time of year~. There weren't many bugs, not a lot of stormy days… yes autumn is certainly a grand time of year~.

I walked up the porch steps and opened the door into our cozy little home. Surprisingly, I didn't see Ren at all. I thought it was a tad bit strange, but I didn't want to overthink it. I closed the door behind myself and took off my jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack.

"Ren?" I hollered from downstairs.

No answer.

A bit suspicious, I walk upstairs and open our bedroom door.

"Ren?" I say softly as I walk in.

I stand there in the doorway as I see him with his back towards me. Nervously, I walk over to him and nudge his shoulder.

That's when he turns to me quickly, ramming my back to the wall and glaring at me with those crazed pink eyes. Fearful, I stare at him, my body trembling from fear as he growls. He has that look in his eyes that he has when he slips into his psychotic episodes. Worried, I try to calm him down.

"R-Ren…" I say with a quivering voice.

His grip loosens a bit as he seems to finally recognize my voice.

"S….Stimpy….?" His voice sounds shaky and raspy.

"Y-yeah… that's it… it's me, Stimpy…" I say calmly as I take his hands and softly stroke them.

His grip loosens a bit and he hides his face in his hands, groaning a bit as if he's in pain. Instinctively, after he lets me go, I wrap my arms around him.

"Are you okay?" I ask as I rub his back.

After a minute, he regains his composure and sighs exasperatedly, "Yeah… I'm ok…"

"Oh thank heavens! I thought you were having another episode~." I say as my grip around him tightens.

Ren groans in annoyance and shoves me away.

"Whatever. Just go and make yourself fucking useful." He growls softly as he pulls out his cigarette.

Smiling and giving him a feathery kiss, I head downstairs to get started on dinner.

The day lagged on normally despite Ren's careless moment earlier. After he ate, I had given him some of his medicine and helped him relax by stroking his hair back. The night seemed long without someone to talk to. I always had mother to have a conversation with, as she normally is up at this hour. I haven't spoken to her in a while… I guess I should.

I get out of bed after Ren falls asleep and head downstairs. I pick up the phone and take a deep breath as I dial my mother's number.

I hear a click and a drunk woman answers.

"Hello?"

"H-Hi mommy! I just wanted to call a—

"What the FUCK are you fucking DOING!? I told you NOT to call!"

I swallow my pride and respond as nervousness racks my body.

"W-Well, I just thought that…"

"SHUT UP!" her voice slurs, "I told you to NEVER call me again! You're a damn disappointment! What makes you think that I'd EVER want to hear from you again?!"

"I..I know you l-love me momma a-and this is just your way of—

"LOVE you?! HA. Don't make me fuckin laugh!" she cruelly laughs "How can anyone love you?!"

I brush off her harsh words and am about to respond until I hear her yell again.

"Don't you fucking call here again, you worthless boy!"

Click.

I hear the dead line tone as I stand there, frozen. My heart beating hard as I press the end button.

Sitting down on the couch, I hide my face in my hands. My heart was beating hard and my mind was spinning. I felt like I had an extreme dizziness in my head.

I know that's just momma's way… I know she loves me… Ren does the same things but he loves me… I think…

I brush off my nervousness and irrational fear and head upstairs back to Ren.

Better get some rest… I suppose…

 

Morning came almost suddenly to me. The sound of birds chirping and the sun shining; things that normally made me happy and excited to wake up in the morning made me feel sick. I hated everything about today, which was… strange to me. Normally everything made me happy and excited… what was wrong with me?

Shameful about my subconscious behavior, I look beside me to see Ren's bedside empty. I at least felt the urge to hold someone… something close to me. I wanted to cry and sleep and cry some more too… I don't understand what was wrong with me.

I drag myself out of bed and head downstairs, but I stop as I see Ren on the couch talking to himself. I eavesdrop, listening to him.

"But… how do you know? What do you think about Stimpy and I…. No I just.."

I walk downstairs slowly, listening.

"How do I stop it…?"

I take a few steps near him.

"Can you help me…?"

"Ren?" I finally chime in.

I seemed to get his attention quickly as he immediately snapped to face me.

"Oh uh…. M-morning.."

I smile slightly, trying to forget about everything that just happened.

"Good morning, Renny~. H-how're you feeling?"

"Fine…ah I guess." He mutters softly.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

He shrugs in reply as he looks away.

I make him breakfast as usual and our day goes back to being our normal routine. Ren hasn't mentioned anything about his… ah… 'conversation' with someone earlier, which I was glad. I knew he wasn't going to do anything strange. Maybe he was getting better. I was hopeful.

The day continued until I got home from work later that evening, closing the door behind myself. I turn on the lights and nearly yelp in surprise as I see Ren standing there. His dirty blonde hair is messy and covering his eyes, his body is creepily stoic, his hands are a bit shaky.

Now I knew something was wrong. I had to intervene.

I watched Ren as he stood in front of me.

I didn't know what to think... I felt a strange feeling in my chest as I walked over to him. I guess it showed how freaked out I really was when I spoke.

"R-Ren...? A-are you okay...?" my voice had a shaky tone to it as I gently took his hand.

That's when I saw it. A big, wide, shiny, and metal butcher's knife in his hand. My eyes went wide and I nearly stumbled back from him in fear. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as it pounded my chest.

"Ren..?" I nearly cry out as tears sting my eyes.

Finally, I hear a small, evil chuckle as he looks me dead in the eyes.

"You think you can make me believe something that isn't true, huh?" He says with a somewhat disembodied voice as he walks slowly to me. "Well no matter, you'll be taken care of in a second."

He walks up to me and raises his knife at me.

I bite my lip and hide my face in my hands as I await whatever may happen.

…

Nothing happens.

I peek through my fingers as he's struggling to bring the knife down.

"Ren… please w-whatever you're thinking… please stop…" I plead with him in my breaking voice.

He shakily brings the knife to his side and stares at me; that lost and desolated look in his eyes mirror my blue ones.

"S-Stimpy…" He says softly as he stumbles back.

"Ren… it's gonna be okay…" I walk to him, holding my arms out. "I promise, you'll be okay—

Shock hits my body hard as I'm unable to feel anything. I'm stopped dead in my tracks, my arms fall to my side; my eyes are wide and staring straight at Ren. I look down, seeing the knife jammed into my stomach.

"Fooled you." He says coldly as he pulls it out quickly.

I place my hands over the wound to try and stop the bleeding as I let out a quivering whimper.

I feel my vision fade as I start to blackout from blood loss. I don't know how much is enough to knock someone unconscious, but… however much I lost… it was working.

My senses start to fade and so does my conscious as I hear a very small, faint voice.

"Oh god.. o-oh god.. Stimpy…"


	14. Say an X Amount of Words

_****This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.** _

_**I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**** _

_**~Stimpy's POV~** _

_"_ _Where do you have the suspect?"_

_"_ _He's being held in our psychiatric ward, under the watch of a psychologist."_

_"_ _And the victim?"_

_"_ _In stable condition, though… he hasn't woken up in 3 days. Most likely from the medication."_

_"_ _I see… once he wakes up, we'll talk about pressing charges."_

I hear a door close as my foggy hearing starts to become clearer. Slowly, I open my eyes; greeted by a clouded view of the ceiling. Weakly, I look around. I'm in a hospital room with the curtains closed. It's oddly empty as I don't see Ren in there.

_W-where is he…? Where's Ren…?_

I try to sit up, but stop as I'm hit with a sharp pain in my abdomen. Quickly, I lay back down and try to soothe the pain by gently brushing my hand over the bandages.

"I see you're awake." A voice calmly says as the door opens.

I look over at the man.

"I'm Dr. Mr. Horse, Ren's psychiatrist." He greeted as he pulled up a chair next to me. "Mr. Hoek said that I may speak to you about what happened?" he readied his notepad and stared at me.

I hesitated as I tried so hard to remember what exactly had happened.

"I…I don't remember." I answer as I nervously hold onto the bed sheets.

He nods in understanding and continues on to say, "Mr. Hoek had called 911 three days ago, exclaiming that you had been stabbed."

I blink a few times, none of what he was saying made any sense nor ring a bell to me.

The doctor observes my reaction and nods slowly.

"Classic signs of amnesia, probably due to how long you've been asleep." He jots it down into his notepad.

"I-I'm sorry sir, honest." I say softly, wishing that I could so desperately remember what happened.

"Don't worry about it, Stimpson. I'm sure your brain will catch up to you soon enough." He gives me a reassuring smile and pats my shoulder as he stands up.

"Where's Ren?" I ask as I watch him head towards the door.

He seems to pause, then looks at me.

"He's being held in the psychiatric ward for evaluation. I'm going to head out and speak with him. You focus on resting."

I nod, not having the strength to actually ask anything else, and look towards the window. The velvet curtains looked lovely to the touch… if only I could feel them...

My eyelids start feeling heavy, and my body starts getting weak. I might as well get some rest like the doctor ordered.

_**~Ren's POV~** _

I stared at the white ceiling above me. The room felt like it was spinning as I tried to gather my thoughts and feelings. The ceiling appears to be… melting… as strange as it sounds. I keep wiping white paint off of my face as I stand up and look around the room. I start to hear talking around the walls inside. The voices are getting louder, there's so many of them, I-I can't focus on what they're saying, I—

"Mr. Hoek?"

The room goes deadly quiet as the room stops melting and the ceiling is back to normal. Nervously, I look at the doctor as he enters the room.

"I just spoke with Stimpy—

"He's ok, right? H-he's alive?" I ask in desperation, the guilt still eating me away.

"Stimpy is alive and recovering."

I sigh in relief, laying back against the wall as I run my fingers through my hair.

"Thank god…"

The doctor nods and continues, "However, he doesn't remember anything about the incident. I need you to tell me what happened."

I feel my stomach do a nauseous flip as I hear the last part of his sentence. Counting my blessings, I sit up and look down at the white floor.

"You won't be in trouble, all I want is the truth." He says as he sits in a chair in front of me.

"… I did it." I mutter softly. "I… I didn't take my medicine, I couldn't. There was this… other me that was telling me that the pills were poison to him. Then I… blacked out and next thing I knew, I… saw Stimpy bleeding… laying on the floor." I say, not having anything to lose or gain. My stubbornness was gone along with my own dignity.

The doctor writes down everything and nods.

"Thank you for being honest. Now… we must discuss what's going to happen."

I look at him, my floppy ears lowered.

"Knowing Stimpson, I don't believe he'll press charges against you, however we can't risk anything happening again. I'm going to keep you in here for 3 weeks, put you on a higher medication dose, and talk to you about why this is happening. You're very unstable, Mr. Hoek. You need help."

I look down.

_Nice going shithead._

**-3 weeks later…-**

The doctor stares at me as he writes down notes.

"Well Mr. Hoek… I see that you're doing better than last."

I look at him, still not feeling right.

"It's time to get to the root of the problem, why exactly you're acting this way. It may be from your childhood, but I have a feeling its part of that, and… well… denial."

Defensive, I glare at him.

"I'm not in fuckin' denial."

"From what you've been displaying whenever I ask about Stimpy, you avoid every question. You try to make yourself think that you don't need him."

"That's not it!" I yell at him, my fists balled up.

"Then what is it, Mr. Hoek?"

"He's. Just. A. Friend." I say as I fight off the anger inside of me.

"A friend that you feel safe around, someone whom you care for deeply for, who takes care of you, reminds you of many things, cooks for you, etc." He says immediately after me. "In other words, a partner."

"I don't see him as that! What the fuck is so hard to understand about that?!"

"Then what are you two?"

I stop, thinking about everything he's said.

_I don't love him… I…I can't… he's a fucking IDIOT! How in the hell can I love anyone like that?!_

"Your father only praised you when you murdered things, correct? Stimpy praises you and loves you no matter what you do. He's always there for you no matter what you do. That's why you love him. You just don't want to face it because that's not how your father raised you."

I look at him. He nailed it. I felt my mind quiet down for the first time in what seemed like months. The world wasn't disintegrating, everything was ok.

"So… I… that's it…?"

"You need to come to terms that it's ok to embrace those emotions. It's ok to have someone that loves you no matter what. Yes, Stimpy isn't all that smart, but he's definitely the right one for you."

I think about it, running my fingers through my hair.

"I want you to go home today. Go home and speak with Stimpy about this. You can do it. You'll feel a lot better."


	15. Acceptance

**This story consists of Ren x Stimpy action. The characters are portrayed as humans with their anthro qualities (animal ears and tails) and may be a bit OOC. Rated Mature for future chapters.

I own no right to Ren and Stimpy**

~Ren's POV~

Thinking it all over on the drive home, I ponder to myself exactly what is it I've been doing for so long. Covering up all this… emotional shit that I can't even come to terms with the most basic fucking thing… I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I want this to stop.

Pulling into the driveway, I take off my seatbelt and get out. I open the front door to see Stimpy relaxing on the couch.

"Oh Ren! You're finally home!" He excitedly says as he gets up and walks over to me. Hugging me tightly, he rubs my back. "It's been so long…~ I missed you~."

"I've only been gone for 3 weeks, dumbass…"

"Still, it felt like the longest time… I don't ever wanna have you gone that long again."

My heart feels like it melts at that as I stand there flustered. What exactly am I supposed to fucking do? Hug him back? Nervously, I push him away.

"Yeah yeah…"

Stimpy stares at me with that dumb smile. He hugs me again.

"I love you so much Ren~. Please don't ever leave me."

Is this what the doctor meant…? This "love" crap? I know he loves me it's just… I… I think… augh… I think I… do love him…

The fogginess in my head clears and the background noise in my head quiets.

That's it I guess… I wrap my arms around him.

I love Stimpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **AN** I finally finished this story! It was really fun to write out the headcanons and see them in action! I really hope you liked this story! My wife and I plan to make a story together this year or next so look forward to that! Thank you for the hits and have a lovely day!


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